Harassment and interference by brother in law
I have been married to my husband for 9 years and we are parents to a 6 year old daughter. Ours was a love marriage, since our marriage I shifted to my in laws house. My father in law was no more, my mother in law was slightly schizophrenic (she recently passed away on July 2017) but still she has been very nice & supporting to me and my brother in law, who is 1 year younger to my husband but 4 years elder to me. Both my husband and I are working in private firms, however I have been on and off on sabbaticals due to our daughter’s care. I have been currently working since last 3 years. My side of family has my parents who both are retired after almost 40 years of service. My elder brother is slightly autistic and is a trained book binder who takes projects at home. We have been a self sustained family each of us manage ourselves together, even my brother who is autistic, he is independent much more than expected out of him. My family background has been slightly on the better side educationally and economically than my husband's family background. But now, Due to my husband's hard work the family has risen to a good economical / social level. My brother in law is 8th pass and has been mostly unemployed and dependent on my husband. Only recently ie last 2 years he is settled as his RO shop is running fine. Due to my mother in law’s condition and my husband being busy earning, my bro in law being unemployed at home, he has since the beginning managed even the pettiest household work in terms of what is to be cooked by the maid, what thing to be kept where in house etc. Therefore when I shifted after marriage my bro in law started to interfere in the smallest of matters of our marital life also. There was severe interference in how I lived and when I got married there was no cook at home, so he used to eat and finish all the food also and even then humiliated me of how bad it was. He made personal comments on my maternal family and taunted on how I spent all my money on them. In this meanwhile there were many efforts by my husband to make him settle down. He helped him open mobile shop businesses 2 times but both times he gave up and sat back at home. There was a job also in between which he left and sat at home. Because of my brother in law’s unemployment, being extremely careless about eating habits, hence obesity and an eye injury caused to himself because of careless driving during Diwali in 2004, we have not been able to find a suitable match for his marriage. He is now 37 of age and not married. My whole marital life has been only about dealing with my brother in laws misbehavior with me. Since almost last 6 years, he has stopped respecting my parents. When my family visit’s me even if my brother in law is at home and looks at them he has stopped wishing them. My husband has a touring job, so whenever he tours my mother comes to stay with me for our daughter’s care. My brother in law time and again causes indirect taunts on food and insults by disrespecting my mother by shutting the door loudly on our face and shouting about how we have asked the cook to make bad food etc. He continuously interferes in the upbringing of our 6 year old daughter too. My husband never supported me directly as he is too much attached to his brother. In fact emotionally he loves his brother much more than he loves me as a wife. My husband is an amazing father to my daughter though and my daughter is also highly dependent on him emotionally. Initial year’s atleast my husband used to convince my brother in law to behave properly, but now after my mom in law has passed away as they both are the only family left, my husband continuously tells me that whatever it may be I have to manage life like this only. Even from last 10 days my husband is on tour. My mother has come to stay with me to help and we both are tolerating the same behavior from my brother in law. I have decided that I want to shift out. I don’t want a bad influence like my brother in law on my daughter’s upbringing. I and my parents deserve a respectable environment and taking such harassment from my brother in law is something I no longer wish to continue with. Please advise me legally my rights in this case. I don’t want to file any case of harassment. I only want a decent life for myself, my family and my daughter. I am sure that my husband would never happily live without his brother staying with him, so the question of we only shifting out doesnt arise. Because of my husband’s closeness with his brother, the truth is that my brother in law will always be a part of my husband’s life; I do not want to continue any relationship with my brother in law. I only want my husband’s full involvement in our daughter’s life.
You can perhaps take help of a mediator to help understand why your brother-in-law is behaving in this manner, and help explain him the problems you are having to face because of this, and involve your husband in this discussion as well. Other than this, there appears little you can do under various laws in this respect.
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